Bureaucrats, lawyers and engineers have developed the art of bad writing over centuries. But now the rest of us can write just as badly as people who are paid for looking smart.
You can get started by using big words and industry jargon along with long sentences, complicated phrases and the kind of visual formatting you’d see in a research report.
Take for example, the bulleted list. We actually advise our clients to use bullets, because they make it easier for humans to scan your text and because search engines give you more credit for keywords in bulleted lists.
But as with all good things, sometimes enough is enough.
There is simply no way to include too many bulleted lists. Bulleted lists make everything clear, because it takes a complicated sentence with too many commas and turns it into a simple and precise enumeration of critical points. Use as many bulleted lists as possible, because the more often you use them, the more clear your document becomes.
- My dear Elizabeth,
- The weather is beautiful; and,
- I wish you were here.
- Love always,
The story even contains a rewrite of “Little Red Riding Hood” in technology-speak. It should inspire us all to edit our own writing relentlessly to get rid of jargon and pretentious language.
— Erik Curren, Curren Media Group